I tried not to but I just could not resist. I still have too many things on my mind I have to put down somewhere! This morning began with me, tryin to force myself to sleep beyond 8am. I couldn't. Plus I had something on my mind. I was expecting a message. 

I have a theory that I have a serious heart condition. Everytime I'm anticipating something later in the day or am excited about something. my heart beats painfully fast in the morning, making sure I wake up. No matter how many times I flip over or how many pillows I put my leg on, it just does not calm down. Some instances that this has happened are:

-in school, when we had a field trip or a camp to go to that day.

-in school, when we were allowed to where 'coloured' clothes to school. (read: not uniform)

-when a boy I fancy is in the texting stage.

-when I know I must get up and study or do some sorta assignment.

-when I know my mom is pissed with me.

-when I have something planned for that day. From meeting friends to goin for a movie. 

How my heart justifies the premature ventricular contractions, I don't know. Even if my theory of having a heart condition is right, I will never know till I have to be rushed to the hospital for having a heart attack. I wonder if I'll even realise that I'm having a heart attack. I'm so used to my heart racing and beating painfully fast. Oh, my parents an I jus don't go to the doctor, unless our condition is so bad, we haven't eaten in days or gotten out of bed in weeks. Dad says if we go to the doctor, they will diagonise a problem and make you eat pills all your life. He says he'd rather die suddenly than know about an illness an suffer for long. I say if you die suddenly, what the hell do we do? A never ending argument, really.

That text I was expecting, I'm not even sure from whom I was expecting. Gold boy texted saying he's coming to pick up his ID for work I had managed to get it home from the drunken friday night. I did get out of bed only because dad had got biryani for breakfast. Oh yeah. We are hardcore non- veg eaters. I doubt I can go one day without eating non-veg. The very thought is painful. Gettin back to that text. I realised i was expecting this text for days now, but din know until I actually got it. A hurtful story cut short, my best friend was pissed off with me and her guy best friend for something that guy an I did. Only, I did now realise what I was doing would hurt her in anyway. I also din know she knew about it, an I din tell her so things wouldn't get weird between that guy, my best friend an me. That idiot guy had told her but din tell me he told her. Which made me look like I had done something horrible. She was so ticked off she told random people things about me an said really mean things about me on her blog. 

I've realised something. If you say bad things about people, they will hear about it. So i did hear about it an got to know about the blog too. I was hurt. Slightly shocked. But I felt nothing. (I'll get back to feeling nothing later). And I pretended like nothing has happened for a few days now. This morning, she texted confessing the whole thing and apologised. Though nothing had ever changed between us, except for the fact that now I was scared to tell this girl anything, because not only will she judge me (which I would be fine with) but she would tell me she gets it an then go talk badly. I've had random people telling me to keep my distance from her cause she can't be trusted. 

She apologized and that was all that was required, for things to come out in the open. So now everything is back to normal. 

That guy is an asshole. But eh, what the hell. I never was madly in love with him. I had never given him the right to hurt me so it din really make a difference.

I am an extremely hyper person around people. I'm always happy. I've tried it an it works. If you want to be happy, you will be happy no matter what. And believe me, no matter what the situation, there is a way to be happy. I've gone from introvert to weirdo to punk metal chick to goth depressed to the most popular girl to a  heart broken girl (heart been broken by a guy I loved beyond words and dreamt of a family an kids with. In other words, I was a teenager). So I've seen it all. I've seen a million things an I'm so glad because I learnt a million lessons on the way. So today I'm a happy person, who is just a logical an mature as I seem hyper an stupid. 

Trust me, sometimes its easier to pretend to not know/understand something than get involved in the complexity of a situation. 

On a very non related note, I went to the sunday soul sante at palace grounds with mom. Stupidly expesive somethings were. I paid 120 INR for 3 macaroons. They were the first I had ever tasted an wanted them because I learnt about them in Australian Masterchef xD But, they were worth the hype. They were divine!

 

I must stop blogging right now. I have an intuition I'll want to watch something on TV right now. o.O

#randomness

Toodles lovelies <3 

Ok I'm not the most technology friendly person in the world. I don't understand it very well, not even this page actually. Can't I give a title to every post? Till I figure that out, all the nice people who are viewing my page, bear with me. And thank you all for taking time off to read something I'm trying out. :)

My exams got over on Tuesday and its still Sunday of the same week. For the first time EVER, the vacations are goin slow! I'v started goin to the gym AFTER already dropping like 5kilos or so an can now successfully fit into 'small' and 'medium' sized clothes. In the world of UK clothes sizes, I'm a 10 an very proud. The gym is a feel good thing. An the stamina has improved like crazy. I can run on the treadmill without me imagining myself being taken to the hospital. *celebrates*

Friday was a day to remember an I have to put it down in my blog. I'm hoping the guy I was with Friday night reads this an understands what a great time I had that night. So this guy I met like a year or 2 back at the Flo Rida concert that happened at Club cabana. I have a friend who works at TOI whose boss' son was the organiser or that event. so we got free passes. This friend, call him Gold boy (named so because of his place of work), was also friends with TOI boy, so we came too. That was a fun night. We danced. And it rained. Downpour for like 3hours, soaked us to our bones. An I din even see Flo Rida that night. He came at 1:30am and was on stage for 15mins, by which time I was shiverin in my car :| I never got to say bye to Goldboy. I reached home at 4am that night.

Then Facebook friend requests happened an we were friends. We grew closer over the past 6months or so, after I met him for an ice cream treat because he joined the gold place to work :D We consumed 15scoops of ice cream that day at Swesons an had sucha sugar rush, it was awesome. He calls me hyper. He also calls me Teeno and Jammy. He's my Jay/ Gold boy. Anyway, he's my guy best friend. We're awesome together. Not the mention he's insanely funny. Like smart funny.

Anyway Friday night, Gold boy an I decided to meet cause he hadn't since a very stupid rain dance party. He doesn't dance. Doesn't like to get wet in the rain. Still, he wasted an entire Sunday for my madness. Thank you for that :D
Friday, at around 8pm, we met at Cloud Bar. The music was nice, and the crowd was interestin, to say the very least. A couple of beers an wine an a chicken starter. A million topics, a thousand jokes an God knows how many comments about the people around us. He taught me German an football. I gave him gossip :D All in all, it was perfect, till our waiter gave us the bill an expected us to get out. Then, the night got better.

We were happy high. An as law abiding citizens, we din wanna drive home drunk. So we took a walk till UB city an sat outside on the porch. It was insanely windy, I remember. I had to put on my jacket. We spoke about the awesomeness of Audis an looked up at the building, like every drunk person does, and took drunk pics in which no one ever looks nice. When we got sober, we walked back an got Gold boy's brand new Helga a.k.a a white Swift. Oh she smelt amaaazing!
Then the best part of the evening. Gold boy turned on the music, chose a song an said "This one's for you." It turned out to be 'You're beautiful' by James Blunt. I love that song. Always have, from school days. I always thought it was one of the most honest songs I've heard. I was touched. We sung along with it. (Gold, Thank you for that :))
Then, somewhere inside Cubbon park, Gold boy decided to play Paani da. This song, both of us have been so obsessed with, I cannot even begin to explain how much we love this song. We sang along as loud as we possibly could, an I looked out the window and saw the Vidhan Soudha. I was so perfect! Those lights, the song, the drive, the alcohol in my blood an my Gold boy. He ripped on the empty roads. Helga is no longer a virgin now :D
We reached my house. Well almost. We drove around in circles for 15minutes more and then i went home. I have no idea what time it was. I have the most amazing mother, who I will talk about in another post cause it will jus be unfair to talk about her here. She opened the door, spoke to Gold boy. Gold boy spoke to my dog, Pookie. After everyone finished having a midnight conversation, I went in and crashed.

The last time I had had such a good night was a month an half back, on my birthday. To have a friend like him, an him to own a beautiful car like Helga, my love for beer an the drunken lights I see while goin home on the empty roads at night. Things like this, I live for. You are amazing, Gold :) Thank you for another amazing night :)

The start of randomness

Right! So I'm finally here. Finally blogging. Something I've been wanting to do for years. I finally got around to doing it. Realized much lamer people blog and all they blog about is how everyone they know aren't as cool as them, an they judge them an voice their opinions on the internet and use code names to refer to these people they know. So I decided its time I blog, because I love my life, an I have to document it somewhere. Where better than the internet right?


So here I am! Hello world! I dono if anyone will ever read my blog or how many times I'll regret posting something I din mean cause I was so emotionally unstable, but this looks promising, and I'll write as often as possible. Just for the record, I'm a very stable person,emotionally, because of which I get the luxury of always being happy. Yes, always. Its true BTW. You will be happy as long as you WANT to be happy.


Its half way into June an there has hardly been rains in Bangalore. Dear south eastern monsoon, you were supposed to arrive 13days before. Being called rain obsessed would be a tragic understatement. I'm someone who can sit and watch the rain and listen to it for hours. Every fantasy, every perfect anything involves the rain. I've bunked math class just to get wet in the rain. I've walked in the rain while listening to music an ruined countless headphones (my players are always in waterproof bags. Smart, see?). A long drive in the rain. Falling asleep listening to the rain. Waking up to the sound of rain. The smell of rain. Dancing in the rain. Kissing in the rain. Just put the rain in any situation an it will be perfect. I would move to a place where it rains all the time, but these places usually have no mobile signal, so that makes me rethink my decision. :|


Speaking of mobile signals, that's other MAJOR obsession. I text. A LOT. So much so that I've been called 'Madam Texts-a-lot' and have been told off by everyone, from teachers to friends to parents. I own a Blackberry an yes, I love my BB. Technology usually hates me, but this piece of technology is jus awesome :D Everyone assumes I'm texting ONE person, a boy, always. But not really, no. When you have Whatsapp and BBM and text messages and Gtalk and Facebook, you can text like 20 people at the same time an not run out of free texts or anything. It makes me happy, it keeps me in touch with the world an it does so much more. So people who say "I will not let a phone take over my life," you really don't have a life. NO ONE IS TEXTING YOU :|


I just finished writing the last exam of the 3rd year of the Bachelor of Engineering I'm pursing in one of the best colleges in town. And I have 3months of vacations an it just feels good. Though I have a LOT of things to do these vacations, and I do love my college, not having to study for so long is jus awesome :D And I finally stopped being in love with an Ex. Its not as pathetic as it sounds really. He asked me out, out of the blue, after knowin me for 4years, 2 of which we were classmates but we din say one word to eachother. Suddenly BBM contact> asked me out> I said yes> and I fell madly in love. Problem was this guy was a horrible boyfriend. I'd never know where he was or what he was doing. He'd meet me once in like forever. He was always busy doin God knows what. The number times I've been all dressed up waiting for him an he's stood me up, I can't even count.


Still, I liked this guy so much, I took all this. He was so perfect. And he breaks up with me on valentine's day. DUDE. Who does that :O But I was still so in love with him, I still wanted him to be in my life. So we were friends. An I jus wouldn't stop talking about him to anyone who would listen. For 4 months after we broke up. An suddenly, a week back, I jus stopped being madly in love. He's still a really nice guy. But he's not the perfect guy. An he's not mine. So that's that :)


Since I have vacations, I'm pretty sure I won't have anything to do, so I will keep blogging. And so i should stop now, so I don't run out of things to blog about. 


So then, that's it for now!
#randomandtalktive